RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!
-takes a deep breath-

decided to delete what i wrote earlier.
guess i just needed to get it off me.
feeling a lil' happier, especially after seeing my erms..somewhat lovely programme sheet..
the cute lil' viking with the coconut breasts..wahahaha.

got desperate &started mass smsing pple.
even did the last thing i thought i'll ever do..to post a bulletin on frndster.
I LOVE PRAVIN. such a dear for getting 7 tickets from me.
the last person i thought would actually come for the event.
will others do the same?
I LOVE ARTIST. for helping me to pull pple to the event. just imagine. AN OUTSIDER is helping to pull pple.
yes he's a contestant. but i believe that even if he wasnt, he'll still be a dear &help me.
I LOVE DREA &JESS. drea-for coming for this even though she has a paper the following day. for picking up my calls &listening to my rambles. jess-for being one of the first ones to give me an answer &show her support without hesitation. though this time i'm not performing, she's still coming.
I LOVE TERENCE YONG AH GONG. for lending me his poor ears the past week..or rather..weekS.
I LOVE DIONNE LIM. for staying in this competition despite all the workload she has &personal obstacles she had to overcome. she's doing this not to disappoint me. i love you smurfie. i really do.
I LOVE HAN. who's coming whether or not anyone else is. who has never failed me.

i'm not saying i did a lot.
everyone does their own parts. sort of.
just show that lil' sense of responsibility and everyone will be way way happier and less tired.
i wanna be there for dionne. for fengyi.
ms kuan if you read this, pls know that my heart &mind's with you always though i havent been calling or meeting up with you. hope you're coping well?
i wanna be able to stop having to torture poor ah gong with my nonsense.
but somehow, he seems to be the only one around nowadays?

stan asked me abt talentime that day. brushed it off so damn lightly, just cos there are a small handful who already bought tickets, saying that i should be happy that there are pple who are going. if the same thing happens to his sales, he'll probably jump into the pond and live with the fish. not blaming him. he doesnt know what's been happening.
but if even a good friend thinks this way,
what more others?
&somehow each time he mentioned talentime, i felt the overwhelming feeling &struggled not to break down.

i miss the one thats so farfaraway. 4 more days. long long days.
i survived 14 days before. never thought 16 days would seem so much longer.

visited eve's lil' haven earlier.. evelyn ah ooi i'm really veryvery happy for you. to see that things are looking up for you. we'll meet up soon ok?

my dearest smurfie i'm so so sorry for ruining everyone's holiday plans. especially yours. know how much you were looking forward to it. i really am.

&so much for proving that i'm not just a useless daughter.
for proving that maybe the institute isnt such a bad place afterall.
a place that turns one against their loved one.
a place that changes one's character.
so much for that fresh start.
this is no different from 2 years back..in that fateful school at teckwhye.

everyone's caught up with their own lives.
that feeling of having friends..&yet not having friends..
esp when the closest ones..suddenly seem so distant..

makes me just wanna crawl under the covers &sleep for a hundred years away from the rest of the world.

i wanna be able to laugh as heartily as i did before..esp with my 3 other darlings.

dont leave me..dont start ignoring the things i say..you all mean too much to me.